{"id":3159,"date":"2024-12-25T08:00:56","date_gmt":"2024-12-25T13:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/?p=3159"},"modified":"2024-12-25T10:30:17","modified_gmt":"2024-12-25T15:30:17","slug":"call-from-grandma-on-christmas-totally-could-have-been-an-email","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/25\/call-from-grandma-on-christmas-totally-could-have-been-an-email\/","title":{"rendered":"Call From Grandma on Christmas Totally Could Have Been an Email"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo Credit: katemangostar on Freepik<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

SILVER SPRING, MD – A quick Christmas call from Grandma to say “Merry Christmas” quickly spiraled into a 45-minute saga about neighbors, medical procedures, and unsolicited life advice, leaving family members wishing it had been a brief email instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI love Grandma, but seriously, all I needed was a \u2018Merry Christmas, I love you,\u2019\u201d said 29-year-old Sarah Larson, whose AirPods started slipping out of her ears as her grandmother began a riveting play-by-play of her neighbor\u2019s gallbladder surgery. \u201cInstead, I now know more about her friend Margaret\u2019s son\u2019s divorce than I ever wanted to.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The call reportedly began with the standard \u201cAre you staying warm enough?\u201d and quickly spiraled into a discussion about how they just don\u2019t make sweaters like they used to, followed by a 15-minute critique of \u201ckids these days\u201d and their \u201cfaces in the phones.\u201d Ironically, Sarah was, in fact, staring at her phone the entire time, Googling \u201cHow to end a call without sounding like a jerk.\u201d\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grandma defended the length of the call. \u201cEmails are so impersonal,\u201d she said. \u201cBesides, I only call once a week… or once a day during the holidays. I just wanted to hear Sarah\u2019s voice and remind her to eat more vegetables and find a nice boy who doesn\u2019t have tattoos.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At press time, Sarah had just received a follow-up text from Grandma containing no fewer than eight Bible verses and a grainy JPEG of a cat in a Santa hat, proving that even emails wouldn\u2019t have been short enough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SILVER SPRING, MD – A quick Christmas call from Grandma to say “Merry Christmas” quickly spiraled into a 45-minute saga about neighbors, medical procedures, and unsolicited life advice, leaving family members wishing it had been a brief email instead. \u201cI love Grandma, but seriously, all I needed was a \u2018Merry Christmas, I love you,\u2019\u201d said…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3158,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[1814,114,184,1808,183,516,95,482,1009,1251,1111,1101,551,24,969,970,1130,373,370,140,1668,489,371,368,979,122,340,141,1807,537,1593,189,993,640,1351,405,638,130,1755,1733,339,1267,116,1028,805,581,94,98,1183,542,137,442,443,1812,136,4,1397,1278,121,1771,719,718,716,717,104,164,599,153,38,313,428,374,369],"class_list":["post-3159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local-news","tag-christmas-takomapark-news-grandma-satire-takomatorch-email-joke-photo-happyholidays-silverspring","tag-amazon","tag-bethesda","tag-bluesky","tag-chevy-chase","tag-cnn","tag-comedy","tag-dc","tag-dc-humor","tag-dc-jokes","tag-dc-metro","tag-dc-news","tag-dc-politics","tag-dc-satire","tag-dmv","tag-dmv-news","tag-dmv-satire","tag-ebay","tag-facebook","tag-fake-news","tag-fox-news","tag-funny","tag-gmail","tag-google","tag-google-news","tag-historic-takoma","tag-hulu","tag-humor","tag-laugh","tag-local-news","tag-local-satire","tag-maryland","tag-maryland-news","tag-maryland-satire","tag-moco-news","tag-moco-politics","tag-moco-satire","tag-montgomery-county","tag-montgomery-county-news","tag-montgomery-county-satire","tag-netflix","tag-new-years","tag-nimby","tag-old-town-takoma","tag-olney","tag-onion","tag-parody","tag-political-satire","tag-r-maryland","tag-reddit","tag-rockville","tag-santa","tag-santa-claus","tag-scrooge","tag-silver-spring","tag-takoma","tag-takoma-humor","tag-takoma-news","tag-takoma-park-historic-district","tag-takoma-park-humor","tag-takoma-park-news","tag-takoma-park-satire","tag-takoma-satire","tag-takoma-satirical-news","tag-takoma-torch","tag-takomatorch","tag-the-onion","tag-tkpk","tag-twitter","tag-wheaton","tag-xmas","tag-yahoo","tag-youtube","wpcat-17-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/portrait-happy-grandma-sitting-sofa-talking-phone5313267674397028048.jpg?fit=2000%2C1333&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-OX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3159"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3162,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3159\/revisions\/3162"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3158"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}