{"id":3126,"date":"2024-11-25T10:18:41","date_gmt":"2024-11-25T15:18:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2024\/11\/25\/person-sitting-in-front-of-you-on-airplane-totally-loves-it-when-you-kick-the-sht-out-of-their-seat\/"},"modified":"2024-11-25T10:18:41","modified_gmt":"2024-11-25T15:18:41","slug":"person-sitting-in-front-of-you-on-airplane-totally-loves-it-when-you-kick-the-sht-out-of-their-seat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2024\/11\/25\/person-sitting-in-front-of-you-on-airplane-totally-loves-it-when-you-kick-the-sht-out-of-their-seat\/","title":{"rendered":"Person Sitting in Front of You on Airplane Totally Loves It When You Kick the Sh*t Out of Their Seat"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A recent study has confirmed that the person sitting in front of you on your flight absolutely loves it when you relentlessly kick the back of their seat like it owes you money.\u00a0\u00a0

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\u201cOh, the repeated jostling is just delightful,\u201d said one participant in the study through a clenched smile that resembled a hostage video. \u201cIt\u2019s like a free in-flight massage from an overly aggressive toddler. Who wouldn\u2019t enjoy that?\u201d\u00a0

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When seeing your fellow passenger try to reposition several times and turn around to glare at you, it’s a sign they actually just want you to expertly test the structural integrity of the seat. Be sure to really dig your knees into their lower back while simultaneously pushing all the buttons on the in-flight entertainment screen like you’re mimicking a woodpecker.\u00a0
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If they notice the situation, flight attendants might intervene to offer the kicked passenger a free drink – congrats! This means you have accomplished your goal, and it’s recommended that you increase the power of your kicks to cause them to spill that drink all over their lap.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A recent study has confirmed that the person sitting in front of you on your flight absolutely loves it when you relentlessly kick the back of their seat like it owes you money.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, the repeated jostling is just delightful,\u201d said one participant in the study through a clenched smile that resembled a hostage video….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3125,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[114,341,24,1130,979,141,490,1593,640,638,94,93,104,599],"class_list":["post-3126","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-amazon","tag-amazon-prime","tag-dc-satire","tag-dmv-satire","tag-google-news","tag-humor","tag-jokes","tag-local-satire","tag-maryland-satire","tag-moco-satire","tag-parody","tag-satire","tag-takoma-torch","tag-the-onion","wpcat-15-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/newspress-collage-22605079-16861286807041091861203508176866.jpg?fit=2000%2C1329&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-Oq","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3126","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3126"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3126\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3125"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}