{"id":1997,"date":"2021-07-10T09:56:46","date_gmt":"2021-07-10T13:56:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2021\/07\/10\/nasa-discovers-giant-meteor-headed-directly-towards-sherman-avenue\/"},"modified":"2021-07-10T09:56:46","modified_gmt":"2021-07-10T13:56:46","slug":"nasa-discovers-giant-meteor-headed-directly-towards-sherman-avenue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2021\/07\/10\/nasa-discovers-giant-meteor-headed-directly-towards-sherman-avenue\/","title":{"rendered":"NASA Discovers Giant Meteor Headed Directly Towards Sherman Avenue"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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TAKOMA PARK, MD – After several unfortunate disasters on the same street in one week, including fallen trees, lost power, a broken water main, and a house fire, engineers at NASA have now discovered a large meteor headed straight toward Sherman Avenue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“With all we’ve been through this week, an End of Days-like scenario was probably the next logical step,” said Jeffrey Trunzo, a 35-year resident on the street. “When a tornado launched my neighbor\u2019s car into Sligo Creek and King Kong kidnapped a young woman three doors down, we were like, what’s next?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Residents were given just 48 hours to safely vacate their homes before the meteor hits and obliterates the entire street, destroying everything in its path and leaving a massive crater. Luckily, in today\u2019s market, that provides homeowners plenty of time to put their properties up for sale and hold open houses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Believe it or not, now is still a good time for these residents to sell their home in Takoma Park,” said local agent Liz Brent. “Even when factoring in the inevitable annihilation from a giant meteor, we still expect to get multiple offers that are well over asking price.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News of the meteor has sparked many listserv posts, including complaints about the potential loud noise, a discussion over where people will be able to park, and a heated debate on whether firing a nuclear missile at the asteroid goes against the city’s long-standing Nuclear Free policy.
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TAKOMA PARK, MD – After several unfortunate disasters on the same street in one week, including fallen trees, lost power, a broken water main, and a house fire, engineers at NASA have now discovered a large meteor headed straight toward Sherman Avenue. “With all we’ve been through this week, an End of Days-like scenario was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1996,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[528,95,701,502,482,551,24,319,370,140,237,489,371,368,383,122,141,259,537,317,189,640,68,512,309,638,6,395,94,658,98,93,111,4,67,169,433,2,675,64,634,266,218,121,715,695,718,716,717,104,164,153],"class_list":["post-1997","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local-news","tag-buy-nothing-takoma","tag-comedy","tag-community-vision-takoma","tag-david-moon","tag-dc","tag-dc-politics","tag-dc-satire","tag-elrich","tag-facebook","tag-fake-news","tag-flower-avenue","tag-funny","tag-gmail","tag-google","tag-hans-riemer","tag-historic-takoma","tag-humor","tag-kate-stewart","tag-local-news","tag-marc-elrich","tag-maryland","tag-maryland-satire","tag-mayor-kate-stewart","tag-md-politics","tag-moco","tag-moco-satire","tag-news","tag-old-takoma","tag-parody","tag-peter-franchot","tag-political-satire","tag-satire","tag-satirical-news","tag-takoma","tag-takoma-junction","tag-takoma-library","tag-takoma-metro","tag-takoma-park","tag-takoma-park-bike-lanes","tag-takoma-park-city-council","tag-takoma-park-city-manager","tag-takoma-park-co-op","tag-takoma-park-dog-park","tag-takoma-park-historic-district","tag-takoma-park-listserv","tag-takoma-park-police","tag-takoma-park-satire","tag-takoma-satire","tag-takoma-satirical-news","tag-takoma-torch","tag-takomatorch","tag-tkpk","wpcat-17-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/asteroid-3628185_19207986722936395084734.jpg?fit=1920%2C1200&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-wd","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1997","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1997"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1997\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1996"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1997"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1997"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1997"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}