{"id":1594,"date":"2020-12-15T12:13:05","date_gmt":"2020-12-15T17:13:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/takomatorch.com\/?p=1594"},"modified":"2021-02-15T01:39:06","modified_gmt":"2021-02-15T06:39:06","slug":"confused-by-prefix-joseph-epstein-receives-colonoscopy-from-dr-pepper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2020\/12\/15\/confused-by-prefix-joseph-epstein-receives-colonoscopy-from-dr-pepper\/","title":{"rendered":"Confused By Medical Prefix, Joseph Epstein Receives Colonoscopy From Dr. Pepper"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/takomatorch_dr-pepper.jpg?resize=449%2C337&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1595\" width=\"449\" height=\"337\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/takomatorch_dr-pepper.jpg?w=480&amp;ssl=1 480w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/takomatorch_dr-pepper.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 449px) 100vw, 449px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>WALL STREET &#8211; Believing that everyone daring to use the prefix \u201cDr.\u201d must have a medical degree, Joseph Epstein mistakenly received a colonoscopy from a Dr. Pepper can earlier today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;This is my problem with people just throwing around the term &#8216;doctor&#8217; without a full grasp of what it really means,&#8221; said Epstein while walking bow-legged with a soda can stuck in his sphincter. &#8220;People like myself are going to get hurt. The number one danger facing America right now is too many people with non-medical doctorates.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Epstein made headlines earlier this week for an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal criticizing First Lady-elect Dr. Jill Biden, a Ph.D. holder from an accredited university, for using the prefix she earned even though she isn\u2019t a medical doctor. He has also sued the children&#8217;s book author, Theodor Geisel, for medical malpractice for tricking children into believing that hopping on pop was a physician-prescribed treatment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;A wise man once told me &#8216;I&#8217;m representin&#8217; for them gangstas all across the world. Hittin&#8217; them corners in them low-lows, girl. Still takin&#8217; my time to perfect the beat, and I still got love for the streets,\u201d said Epstein, using a quote from Dr. Dre. &#8220;Can Jill Biden give that kind of medical advice? I don&#8217;t think so.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Despite condemnation from both medical and academic professionals, several prominent Republicans rushed to defend Epstein from the counter response to his op-ed, including outgoing Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who was awaiting a pap smear from a pair of Dr. Martens boots.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WALL STREET &#8211; Believing that everyone daring to use the prefix \u201cDr.\u201d must have a medical degree, Joseph Epstein mistakenly received a colonoscopy from a Dr. Pepper can earlier today. &#8220;This is my problem with people just throwing around the term &#8216;doctor&#8217; without a full grasp of what it really means,&#8221; said Epstein while walking&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1595,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,18],"tags":[24,140,141,98,93,111,104,164],"class_list":["post-1594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-national-politics","category-science-and-tech","tag-dc-satire","tag-fake-news","tag-humor","tag-political-satire","tag-satire","tag-satirical-news","tag-takoma-torch","tag-takomatorch","wpcat-10-id","wpcat-18-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/takomatorch_dr-pepper.jpg?fit=480%2C360&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-pI","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1594"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1594\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1794,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1594\/revisions\/1794"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1595"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}