{"id":1329,"date":"2020-08-31T18:03:43","date_gmt":"2020-08-31T22:03:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/takomatorch.com\/?p=1329"},"modified":"2020-08-31T18:11:21","modified_gmt":"2020-08-31T22:11:21","slug":"public-school-system-brings-back-clippy-to-help-parents-navigate-online-classroom-portal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2020\/08\/31\/public-school-system-brings-back-clippy-to-help-parents-navigate-online-classroom-portal\/","title":{"rendered":"Public School System Brings Back \u2018Clippy\u2019 to Help Parents Navigate Online Classroom Portal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Faced with a disastrous roll-out of online education for the fall semester, public school systems nationwide resurrected the peppy virtual assistant \u201cClippy\u201d to assist students and parents alike with their technology issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be the first to admit that the first day of school was a disaster,\u201d stated Montgomery County Superintendent of Schools Jack Smith. \u201cThankfully Clippy is now available to help parents navigate the morass of confusion while also bringing a bit of joy and humor to this already difficult situation caused by the pandemic. I just love his Eugene Levy eyebrows.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The launch marked a reversal of fortune for the cartoon paper clip, who was introduced in Microsoft Office \u201897 and mocked by users who found his unwanted advice annoying. Clippy was killed off by Microsoft in early 2001, but thankfully this emergency situation has given him a second chance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was about to smash my kid\u2019s laptop into a million pieces after failing over and over to log in to the portal,\u201d said 7th grade parent Gregory Washington. \u201cThen Clippy popped up, said \u2018I see you\u2019re about to lose your mind! What can I do to help?\u2019 and talked me off the ledge. Thanks Clippy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition to helping frazzled parents and students log in to online classroom portals, the new version of Clippy is also programmed with a built-in discipline system. Once it registers that a student is misbehaving or not paying attention, Clippy will pop up on students\u2019 screens with pleasant reminders, such as \u201cIt looks like your assignment is due in an hour and you\u2019ve been sneaking YouTube videos all day. Would you like me to post embarrassing photos of you on Instagram?\u201d It also has an optional electric shock feature for teachers seeking to jolt students into paying attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When asked if he looked forward to another chance to help people again after nearly two decades, our reporters gave up and minimized Clippy after his repeated attempts to offer help with writing a letter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Faced with a disastrous roll-out of online education for the fall semester, public school systems nationwide resurrected the peppy virtual assistant \u201cClippy\u201d to assist students and parents alike with their technology issues. \u201cI\u2019ll be the first to admit that the first day of school was a disaster,\u201d stated Montgomery County Superintendent of Schools Jack Smith….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1330,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,18],"tags":[24,140,129,130,94,98,93,111,165,4,2,104,164],"class_list":["post-1329","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local-news","category-science-and-tech","tag-dc-satire","tag-fake-news","tag-mcps","tag-montgomery-county","tag-parody","tag-political-satire","tag-satire","tag-satirical-news","tag-school","tag-takoma","tag-takoma-park","tag-takoma-torch","tag-takomatorch","wpcat-17-id","wpcat-18-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/takomatorch_clippy.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-lr","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1329"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1332,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329\/revisions\/1332"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1329"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1329"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1329"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}