{"id":1219,"date":"2020-07-16T16:38:06","date_gmt":"2020-07-16T20:38:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/?p=1219"},"modified":"2020-07-19T20:30:40","modified_gmt":"2020-07-20T00:30:40","slug":"takoma-park-institutes-scream-inside-your-heart-rule-for-all-city-council-meetings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2020\/07\/16\/takoma-park-institutes-scream-inside-your-heart-rule-for-all-city-council-meetings\/","title":{"rendered":"Takoma Park Institutes ‘Scream Inside Your Heart’ Rule for All City Council Meetings"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio\/Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

TAKOMA PARK, MD \u2013 Inspired by Japan’s new amusement park regulation meant to prevent the spread of Coronavirus by prohibiting yelling on roller coasters, Takoma Park has adopted the “Scream Inside Your Heart Rule” for all future council meetings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Takoma Park council meetings are very much like roller coasters,” said the Mayor. “They are super exciting for some thrill-seekers, but make others sick to their stomach. It’s enjoyable for about a minute, and then the whole thing goes downhill fast while everyone screams their heads off.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The new Scream Inside Your Heart rule requires any person disagreeing with statements made at City Council meetings to remain quiet, dig their fingernails as tightly as possible into the padded elbow rests of their seats, and bite down until their molars are about to crack. While many people enthusiastically support the rule, others have raised First Amendment concerns, accusing the city of silencing their voices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will not be muzzled!\u201d Karen McAllen shouted. \u201cFirst I\u2019m required to wear a mask that covers most of my face, and now I can\u2019t even scream through it to voice my opinion. How am I supposed to get attention if I can\u2019t force people to look at and listen to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To ensure resident\u2019s heart-felt voices are still heard, Takoma Park has hired famous infomercial psychic Miss Cleo to attend each Council meeting, intuit the residents\u2019 heart screams, and compile a PowerPoint presentation summarizing their feelings for the Council. \u201cWe have to pay her $3.99 per minute for the first 10 minutes and $5.99 per minute after that,\u201d said the City Manager. \u201cThat\u2019s a little steep, but this is a public health emergency.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the new rule off to a good start, some in city government are even hoping to keep it around after the pandemic. \u201cImagine how short our meetings on the Takoma Junction Development project could\u2019ve been if we had only allowed people to scream on the inside,\u201d Mayor Stewart said. \u201cI\u2019ve been screaming on the inside for years, and I can honestly say it works wonders.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

TAKOMA PARK, MD \u2013 Inspired by Japan’s new amusement park regulation meant to prevent the spread of Coronavirus by prohibiting yelling on roller coasters, Takoma Park has adopted the “Scream Inside Your Heart Rule” for all future council meetings. “Takoma Park council meetings are very much like roller coasters,” said the Mayor. “They are super…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1221,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[24,68,67,64],"class_list":["post-1219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local-news","tag-dc-satire","tag-mayor-kate-stewart","tag-takoma-junction","tag-takoma-park-city-council","wpcat-17-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/takomatorch_screaminsideyourheart-1.jpg?fit=1800%2C1307&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-jF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1219"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1219\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1223,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1219\/revisions\/1223"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1221"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}