Netflix, Hulu Demand Bailout to Help Americans From Running Out of Shows to Watch

WASHINGTON, DC – As more people beg friends to recommend new TV shows to watch, streaming services such as Netflix and Hulu have demanded federal bailout money to create more content and keep Americans entertained during the pandemic.

“It’s gotten really bad since October, when I was so bored that I somehow ended up watching Fuller House,” said Martha Jones. “I don’t know what I would have done with myself if Netflix hadn’t then put out an exciting mini-series about competitive chess.”

As Americans remain stuck at home with more time to watch TV, options are quickly running out. People have been so starved for quality content that the supply of binge-able shows is drying up, and many are now suffering as they are forced to watch episodes one at a time as they’re released weekly.

“The Mandalorian is only putting out one episode per week?! What the hell am I going to watch for the next 6 days?” said Fred Parker. “I can’t believe I waited this long just to find out that Baby Yoda’s real name is Grogu. Ugh.”

As current shows are exhausted, some viewers have found satisfaction in re-visiting much older shows like Perfect Strangers, Family Matters and Martin. There has even been an uptick in early 90’s phrases trending on Twitter, including “Don’t Be Ridiculous!”, “Did I do that?”, and “Damn, Gina!”

The CEOs of three major streaming services warned Congress this week that if they don’t get the funds to create, write and produce new shows on pace with Americans’ insatiable appetite for TV, they may be forced to use CGI and other editing tricks to splice together “new” versions of existing series.

“2021 is going to be an interesting year for streaming TV as we try to turn old content into something that will be new to viewers,” said Reid Hastings, CEO of Netflix. “So get ready for Breaking Bad 2: Electric Bugaloo!”

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